Funny Warning Signs for the Woods

Contents

• 1
  • • • • 1.0.0.0.i
  • 1.ane Rubbish Notice
  • 1.two Delight Do Non LeaveRubbish Here
  • 1.iii Rubbish Ambition?
  • 1.four No Rubbish Sign
  • ane.5 Existent Rubbish
  • 1.6 ItGets Worse - The Council Routinely Search Rubbish. (Reported in the Times)
  • one.vii Stolen Rubbish Bin
  • 1.8 'Leave of That', Say Binmen
  • 1.ix Funny Rubbish Find - Don't Upset the Binmen
  • 1.10 What DidThese Cars Do to Upset the Decline Cart Driver?
  • 1.xi Rubbish Savings Account
  • 1.12 Road toNowhere?
  • 1.13 Unusual, Funny and Strange Enquiries Fabricated to Local Councils in England
  • i.14 My Old Man's a Dustman Sung past Lonnie Donegan
  • one.15 Come across more pictures of funny route signs, featuringcars and street notices

As y'all walk around your neighbourhood, or travel on the omnibus or railroad train, go on
your heart out for funny rubbish notices in your area, meanwhile our drove of
amusing signs.

• Rubbish Detect
• Rubbish Appetite?
• No Rubbish Sign
• Existent Rubbish
• 'Get out of that', say Binmen
  
• Don't Upset the Binmen
• Rubbish Savings Business relationship
• Road to Nowhere?

Rubbish Notice

Please do not throw stones at this sign.  Nosotros cannot piece of work out who is the more foolish, the
people who erected the warning sign, or those who threw the rocks and mud balls.

Please Do Not Leave
Rubbish Hither

.... Could be difficult

Rubbish Appetite?

I recently asked a friend, 'Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows upwardly?'

'Yep, he wants to be a garbage collector', my friend replied.

I had to call back about that one
for a moment. 'That'due south a rather strange ambition to have for a career,' I finally managed to reply.

'Well,' said the boy's
male parent, 'he thinks that garbage collectors merely work on Tuesdays'.

No Rubbish Sign

Existent Rubbish

A human has been fined £50 for putting rubbish in a bin. Andy Tierney of Hinckley, Leicestershire was issued the fixed punishment observe for dumping two junk mail service letters. Hinckley and Bosworth Council accused
him of committing 'an offence under Department 87 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990. Domestic refuse from your property was dumped into a street litter bin the stock-still penalty is £fifty.'

The council classes
letters as 'domestic litter', which should not exist dropped in public street bins. According to BBC Radio news and The Sun, Andy said, 'How on earth can they fine me for being tidy? It's
absolute madness. I could
accept hands chucked those messages on the footing, simply I put them in the bin. What has happened is a joke. The council is barmy. I never thought you could be fined for putting rubbish in a bin - that's
what
they're at that place for.'

Andy was walking from his house to his machine when his postman handed him the junk mail. He opened both letters as he strolled - then dumped them in the bin on a lamppost. Council officials
traced him from the addresses on the envelopes and issued the penalisation. The letter threatens Andy with farther action and a conviction if he does non pay inside xiv days. Andy insisted, 'There's
admittedly no mode
I'chiliad paying upward. You get fined for chucking rubbish on the ground. You become fined for chucking rubbish in the bin. So what exactly are you supposed to practise?'

A spokesman from the council said, 'A fixed penalty
observe is served to people who we believe take committed an offence. Our litter bins are there to keep streets tidy, as they enable the public to eolith minor amounts of litter. They are not provided for
household waste.'

NOTICE IN A Dry CLEANER'S WINDOW:
Anyone leaving their garments here
for more than 30 days will be tending of.

It
Gets Worse - The Council Routinely Search Rubbish. (Reported in the Times)

Today I can reveal the other side to the story, the quango's
side. And the dandy affair is that it makes the council expect even more fatuous than information technology did last
Th when Tierney contacted his local newspaper to complain about the fine.

The quango now alleges that Tierney did not eolith just 2 letters in the litter bin, but a whole sack of 'domestic
rubbish'.  Tierney denies the imputation: 'They're just trying to save face. They've been made to look stupid, so they come up up with this. Why didn't
they say that on Thursday?'

Quite; only more than to the indicate,
how did they know that this black bag total of 'domestic rubbish'
had been deposited past Tierney - unless, that is, they pay someone to rifle through the garbage with the sole purpose of persecuting
rubbish-placement transgressors? Well, of course, on cantankerous-examination it transpires that this is exactly what they spend your council tax on. Rubbish placement transgressor inspectors.

'If we find a blackness
bin bag in a litter bin, we will sift through the rubbish and try to place who put it there, 'a council employee told me, with great patience, as if this were a perfectly reasonable thing to practice.' A
refuse disposal man will identify a black bag and and so report it to his supervisor and a decision will be made to examine the contents of the handbag and, upon identifying the miscreant, issue a stock-still penalty
notice.'  You couldn't
make this up and, luckily, I didn't
have to.

At that place are other eternally vigilant people employed by Hinckley and Bosworth borough quango whose job information technology is to persecute the residents who
pay their wages. These are called neighbourhood wardens - 'the eyes and ears of the local customs', according to the council spokeswoman.

Information technology was one of these individuals who espied Tierney putting some
litter in a bin and quickly filed a report. So they have people paid to walk the streets and make sure yous don't
put letters in a litter bin and other people employed to sift through your rubbish and fine you
if yous practice. Possibly people like yous and I, possibly weird people whom you would not wish to sit down next to at dinner.

The average council tax charge in Hinckley and Bosworth is £1,242.97 a twelvemonth. Council tax
charges have risen by nearly 100% nationally over the past decade. This is a pocket-size price for such boggling vigilance, such devotion to the cause. Quite what the cause is remains a mystery.

Stolen Rubbish Bin

Stolen 'wheelie' found in Bulgaria.
A council which has spent more than
£75,000 [$149,578.81USD] replacing stolen wheelie bins in the by year said i
had turned up in Bulgaria. Peterborough Quango says more than two,000 bins -
worth £thirty [$59.84USD] each - have disappeared. Officials in Due east Anglia say they
can evidence they own the bin found in eastern Europe, reports Sky News.

A spokesman said, 'One 240-litre green recycling bin conspicuously stamped with the
urban center council's name was even spotted in a residential area near the Black Body of water
resort of Sunny Beach in Bulgaria. This is the nigh outrageous instance of theft
of a wheeled bin nosotros take come up across.'

'Become Out of That', Say Binmen

Garbage disposal operators testify their sense of humour in this short, but
funny, sequence of photographs:

Waste disposal, rubbish removal, garbage collectors, domestic pass up operator
- whatever y'all may call them, do a fine task. They have away the things we no
longer want and dispose of them.

Some people in the Great britain give their 'dustbin human' a budgetary tip at Christmas
considering they do such a skilful job of piece of work during the year. Therefore, Volition and Guy
were very surprised to see that some thoughtless person had parked their automobile
blocking the garbage collectors way to their bins.

However, we are able to report to our readers that the 'binmen' had it all in
paw and they reeked their revenge on the unsuspecting the car owner.

Funny Rubbish Notice - Don't Upset the Binmen

Mayhap the above drivers upset the binmen but once as well often!  Past the
way, can you lot identify those cars in that skip?

What Did
These Cars Practise to Upset the Pass up Cart Driver?

A rubbish bin lorry tipped over as it tried to take a corner, burdensome
two parked cars in Hampshire, England

Rubbish Savings Business relationship

Mr Cui, a Chinese man, put his savings in a rubbish bin to hide them from burglars - then forgot and threw out
the bin.

In the rubbish bin was the equivalent of £3,200 [$6,000USD]. 'Nosotros looked around our domicile and finally decided to hide the money in the garbage bin, where we believed it was safest from burglary,' said Cui who lives in Qingdao city. Just Cui and his
wife forgot about the money when they returned, reports Bandao City Papers. 'I threw abroad the garbage the day afterwards I came dwelling house, since the bin was full,' he said.

Two days passed before Cui remembered
where he had hidden the money, and when he rushed to check the garbage room, it had already been taken away. 'Our last hope was the urban center garbage treatment middle, simply the landfill was so vast that nosotros knew our
money was lost forever,' he said.

Road to
Nowhere?

Unusual, Funny and Strange Enquiries Fabricated to Local Councils in England

The calls make a change from enquiries about council tax and rubbish bin
collection say Will and Guy.

• Ane query about registering the death of a person who was notwithstanding alive was
  just one of the quirky calls received by council call centres last year.  The
  research to Surrey County Quango was among 50m calls to local authority
  customer services each yr.
• Another to Northumberland County Council asked where its pest command
  officers bought their rifles.
• One caller to East Dorset District
  Council'south Tourist Information Eye wanted an explanation of the plot of
  the 18th century play "She Stoops to Conquer".
• Another baroque call in Surrey was from an oddball who asked if he was
  immune to roll up a zebra crossing.
• A High german went to a quango
  customer services reception desk in Northumberland to claim political
  aviary.
• A motorist chosen Sutton Quango to ask if a car park was haunted.
  She idea her vehicle was in a different place from where she left
  it.
• Another resident in the borough asked whether he could put a dead fox in
  a recycling bin.
• The fact that councils are so oftentimes the starting time port of telephone call for residents
  who are seeking a solution to their problems shows only how central a role
  councils play in the lives of their communities Will and Guy were informed.

My Quondam Homo'southward a Dustman Sung by Lonnie Donegan

Guy's favourite verses

I say, I say Duncan
I 'er...I found a police domestic dog in my dustbin
(How
practise y'all know he's a police canis familiaris)
He had a policeman with him

Now 1 day while in a hurry
He missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone
but a few yards
When she chased after him
'What game practice you think
you lot're playing'
She cried correct from the heart
'You've missed me...am
I likewise late'
'No... jump up on the cart'

Now here's a footling story
To tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
That moves abroad your dust
Some people brand a fortune
Other'due south earn a
mint
My old human being don't earn much
In fact....he'due south flippin'.....skint

Oh, my old human being's a dustman
He wears a dustman'south lid
He wears cor
blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper
narner
In his groovy big hob nailed boots
He'southward got such a job to pull
em up
That he calls them daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas
And some of them forget
So when
he picks their bins up
He spills some on the steps
Now one one-time man got
nasty
And to the council wrote
Adjacent time my old human being went 'circular there
He punched him up the throat

Oh, my old human'southward a dustman
He wears a dustman'south hat
He wears cor
blimey trousers
And he lives in a council apartment

I say, I say Duncan
I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin
(How
do you know he'due south a police dog)
He had a policeman with him

Though my former human's a dustman
He's got a middle of gold
He got
married recently
Though he's 86 years old
Nosotros said 'Ear! Hang on Dad
you're getting past your prime number'
He said 'Well when you go to my age'
'It helps to laissez passer the fourth dimension'

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman'due south hat
He wears cor
blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say, I say
My dustbins full of lillies
(Well throw 'em
away so)
I can't Lilly's wearing them

At present i 24-hour interval while in a hurry
He missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone
only a few yards
When she chased later on him
'What game exercise you remember
yous're playing'
She cried right from the middle
'You lot've missed me...am
I too late'
'No... jump up on the cart'

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor
blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say, I say (What y'all again)
My dustbin's admittedly total with
toadstools
(How do you know it's full)
'Cos in that location's not much room
within

He institute a tiger's head i day
Nailed to a piece of woods
The tiger
looked quite miserable
But I suppose it should
Just then from out a
window
A voice began to wail
He said (Oi! Where's me tiger head)
Four foot from information technology's tail

Oh, my old human's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor
blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Side by side time you see a
dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
It
might be my old dad

Footnote
Please ship u.s. your funny rubbish find.

Run into more pictures of funny route signs, featuring
cars and street notices

•
Funny traffic signs   •
Funny route signs
• Funny road signs UK   •
Funny animal road signs

• Pictures of stupid signs   •
Funny automobile pictures   •
Dyslexic signs   •
Funny garbage   •
Funny signs

• Pointless signs   •
Funny street signs   •
Funny no parking signs   •
Parking yellow lines
• 'No' signs

craigsuff1952.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.funny-jokes.com/funny-rubbish-notices

Share this post